Theatre III – Cocoonianity
Yogi Berra is one of the most beloved characters in the history of American baseball. He was so popular that the folks at Hanna-Barberra even created and named a cartoon character—Yogi Bear—after him. That he was an All-Star player and World Series-winning manager helped, but what really put Yogi over the top with fans was his delightful yet confounding outlook on life: Yogi is the all-time leader in leaving people laughing and shaking their heads at the same time.
One time, in trying to explain why it’s important to never give up in a ballgame, Yogi tried an opera analogy. This came as a surprise because Yogi wasn’t known to be an opera buff. His rough and tough demeanor led most fans to presume that Yogi wouldn’t be caught dead spending an evening at the Met. So naturally baseball fans were astonished by his operatic illustration of perseverance.
Yogi could have said, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” or “Winners never quit and quitters never win,” and nobody would have batted an eye. But no: Yogi swung for the fences by declaring, “It ain’t over ‘til the fat lady sings!”
Thanks to Yogi we now have a neat, simple, all-purpose phrase that means, “The last thing that has to happen before the curtain come down.” Whatever “it” is, once the Fat Lady sings, “it” is all over. Now let’s haul Yogi’s term out of the ball park and back into the Cocoonian world and see what we can make of it there.
Cocoonians, more than the average bear, like to study the rapture or the apocalypse or the holocaust or whatever they call the end of the world. Almost every time some religious nut makes news with a prediction of the exact date and time of the end of the world, that nut is a white guy and a card-carrying Cocoonian.
Cocoonians know that Jesus said, “Nobody but God knows the exact hour when the curtain will come down on the world (Mark 13:32),” yet some of us can’t resist trying to predict that hour anyway. In our never-ending quest to show others how clever we are, many Cocoonians have memorized most of the signs of the end of the world. We know the warning signs; wars, rumors of wars, famines and earthquakes. We see all those signs in real time and that makes us insecure, and our insecurity is increased every day by shocking news from around the world. Continue reading